I am very sad, frustrated, and angry to say that as of yesterday, after two weeks of emotional roller coaster riding, that this journey is going to be down to one iron sister between now and November.
I was feeling GREAT with training. I was getting some excellent rides and runs in, and even a few open water swims, and was feeling perfectly on-part fitness wise for where we were in our training brick. I went to the beach and after a great 60 mile ride and 6 mile run, the next day was a rest day so I was on the beach laying there and enjoying the sand, sun and surf like a normal person, and after riding some waves in on a boogie board and laying there in the sand on my stomach, I swung my right leg around and felt a very pronounced "pop."
I should preface this for those who don't know, but just over ten years ago, I was hit by a car while crossing in a crosswalk and suffered a compound fracture to my lower right leg that involved five surgeries, a rod, some screws, grafts and even a battery to regrow nerve tissue. I was able to put weight on the leg for the first time six months after the accident, but after I got up and moving/walking, while I was definitely weak, my recovery was fine, and between then and now, I swum three years in college, have run two marathons, and done ten triathlons. Never any knee problems whatsoever. Every once and a while, my knee would feel loose and "pop" a bit, but nothing to report, pain wise or swelling wise, with all the miles and miles I have run.
So one can imagine my shock, when, after a preliminary orthopedic visit and an MRI, I get a call from the doctor last night, to say that not only do I have a "bucket tear in my meniscus," where the torn off piece of cartilage is flipped underneath the main piece, but that I ALSO have no ACL. It's been torn completely in half. When this happened, I have no idea...what happened on the beach hurt, but not the way I hear a torn ACL is supposed to hurt. Nor have I noticed anything in the previous ten years!
So maybe it tore the night I got hit by the car, and what with bones hanging out of my leg and a huge windshield gash in the back of my head, it was never discovered, and obviously I have gotten along fine without it thus far, so I never ever thought to check to see if it somehow wasn't there! Maybe it was one time when I fell playing beach volleyball 4 years ago? I'll never know, and the reality is, it doesn't matter when it happened, just that it did.
The problem now, though, is it will be hard to fix a meniscus without an ACL, nor could I run 26.2 miles anyway on my meniscus as it stands, anyway, so with the recovery time involved to fix these, this is the end of my journey to IMAZ. I am crushed and disappointed to say the least, but hell, if I could do this much training thus far sans ACL, whenever I do find the right time in my life to take this up again, boy will I be ready, complete with new knee, and everything will be that much sweeter.
I don't regret anything about this process, as if prior to this whole endeavor beginning in December, one had told me that I could even get through some of the more challenging workouts that I did in the past month, I would have laughed. And while it will be bittersweet cheering Amanda on in November, I can't wait to be behind her 150%, and then pick her brain about everything she learned on race day when it is eventually my turn.
So this blog will now be a strange combination of Amanda's continuing journey and perhaps the odd update about rehab and surgery, and maybe perhaps when I feel ready to sign up for a new Ironman... I spent all of last evening allowing myself to bawl my eyes out and wallow in self pity, but that is over now. The only way is forward, and while I am disappointed beyond proper articulation, I know deep down that in the game of life, this is really small potatoes, and that I have the husband, family, and friends I could not have ever dreamed up, as well as the cutest little red dog, which of course, is what's really important.
I was feeling GREAT with training. I was getting some excellent rides and runs in, and even a few open water swims, and was feeling perfectly on-part fitness wise for where we were in our training brick. I went to the beach and after a great 60 mile ride and 6 mile run, the next day was a rest day so I was on the beach laying there and enjoying the sand, sun and surf like a normal person, and after riding some waves in on a boogie board and laying there in the sand on my stomach, I swung my right leg around and felt a very pronounced "pop."
I should preface this for those who don't know, but just over ten years ago, I was hit by a car while crossing in a crosswalk and suffered a compound fracture to my lower right leg that involved five surgeries, a rod, some screws, grafts and even a battery to regrow nerve tissue. I was able to put weight on the leg for the first time six months after the accident, but after I got up and moving/walking, while I was definitely weak, my recovery was fine, and between then and now, I swum three years in college, have run two marathons, and done ten triathlons. Never any knee problems whatsoever. Every once and a while, my knee would feel loose and "pop" a bit, but nothing to report, pain wise or swelling wise, with all the miles and miles I have run.
So one can imagine my shock, when, after a preliminary orthopedic visit and an MRI, I get a call from the doctor last night, to say that not only do I have a "bucket tear in my meniscus," where the torn off piece of cartilage is flipped underneath the main piece, but that I ALSO have no ACL. It's been torn completely in half. When this happened, I have no idea...what happened on the beach hurt, but not the way I hear a torn ACL is supposed to hurt. Nor have I noticed anything in the previous ten years!
So maybe it tore the night I got hit by the car, and what with bones hanging out of my leg and a huge windshield gash in the back of my head, it was never discovered, and obviously I have gotten along fine without it thus far, so I never ever thought to check to see if it somehow wasn't there! Maybe it was one time when I fell playing beach volleyball 4 years ago? I'll never know, and the reality is, it doesn't matter when it happened, just that it did.
The problem now, though, is it will be hard to fix a meniscus without an ACL, nor could I run 26.2 miles anyway on my meniscus as it stands, anyway, so with the recovery time involved to fix these, this is the end of my journey to IMAZ. I am crushed and disappointed to say the least, but hell, if I could do this much training thus far sans ACL, whenever I do find the right time in my life to take this up again, boy will I be ready, complete with new knee, and everything will be that much sweeter.
I don't regret anything about this process, as if prior to this whole endeavor beginning in December, one had told me that I could even get through some of the more challenging workouts that I did in the past month, I would have laughed. And while it will be bittersweet cheering Amanda on in November, I can't wait to be behind her 150%, and then pick her brain about everything she learned on race day when it is eventually my turn.
So this blog will now be a strange combination of Amanda's continuing journey and perhaps the odd update about rehab and surgery, and maybe perhaps when I feel ready to sign up for a new Ironman... I spent all of last evening allowing myself to bawl my eyes out and wallow in self pity, but that is over now. The only way is forward, and while I am disappointed beyond proper articulation, I know deep down that in the game of life, this is really small potatoes, and that I have the husband, family, and friends I could not have ever dreamed up, as well as the cutest little red dog, which of course, is what's really important.
You wil be back! I know it.
ReplyDeleteYou have to play hurt, as my granddad used to say... and your knee will be better than ever.
Cheers to the Iron Sisters!
Do not go gentle into that good night.
ReplyDeleteGood men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. - Dylan Thomas